As we move through life as a human, and particularly the time we’re in now, I think it is important that we choose between discerning and being judgmental.

Which of these ways of viewing others best serves us? Which feels best? Which allows us to move forward?

In my view, when I feel judgement of others, I feel cramped, constrained, and stuck. When I am being discerning in relationship to others, I feel healthily self-productive, spacious, and fluid.

The difference between the two? Judgement is about being better than someone who are are ‘othering’ in some way.

Discernment is measuring, seeing, mapping, and then making decisions, including ones about moving closer or further away;

About greater closeness vs. attending to personal safety by moving further away or completely away: There is more complexity here and much more that could be said about being discerning rather than judgmental.

What I will say right now is this: I think humans are in the process of moving toward being discerning and away from being judgmental. And I think this change, as it unfolds, will serve all of us and, at the individual level, will feel very good.

Nowadays, when I find myself in judgment (cramped, constrained, stuck), I am aware that if I want to move away from that feeling — quickly— that there is another, better choice for me. An I move, with a lighter heart, into discernment (healthily self-protective, spacious, fluid).