Discernment Instead of Judgment

As we move through life as a human, and particularly the time we’re in now, I think it is important that we choose between discerning and being judgmental.

Which of these ways of viewing others best serves us? Which feels best? Which allows us to move forward?

In my view, when I feel judgement of others, I feel cramped, constrained, and stuck. When I am being discerning in relationship to others, I feel healthily self-productive, spacious, and fluid.

The difference between the two? Judgement is about being better than someone who we are ‘othering’ in some way. After the initial hit of self-righteousness, it allows us to see them as somewhat inferior and ourselves as superior, while setting up an internal dynamic of then wondering how and when we will be judged.

Discernment is measuring, seeing, mapping, and then making decisions regarding the Other, including ones about moving closer or further away.

Present is out dilemma of the choice of developing greater closeness with the Other vs. attending to personal safety by moving further or completely away from the Other. There is more complexity here and much more that could be said about being discerning rather than judgmental.

What I will say right now is this: I think humans are in the process of moving toward being discerning and away from being judgmental. And I think this change, as it unfolds, will serve all of us and, at the individual level, will feel very good.

Nowadays, when I find myself in judgment (cramped, constrained, stuck), I am aware that if I want to move away from that feeling — quickly— that there is another, better choice for me. And I move then, with a lighter heart, into discernment (healthily self-protective, spacious, fluid).